Dear 39 year old self,
As I sit here to write this letter I am not sure what I should say about this year. My original purpose for these letters was to have a glimpse back in time to remember where I was at and maybe what I learned. Ideally, these stories would all be rainbows and sunshine, but this past year has been a very difficult one It has been filled with heartache and uncertainty, some of which I am still going through. I do not want to exploit the stories of those I love so I will try to tell MY story...what I struggled with, what I learned or am learning or still need to learn and how I felt about this year.
Summer was it's usual wonderful time with family and friends - boating, BBQ'ing, All Stars, Water Polo tournaments, camping, etc. I love summer, I love the warmth, I love the late evenings on the patio, I love spending time with my family, I love spending lots of time outside and summer did not disappoint!
My kids began a new school year, this time all three at different schools. Live-In #1 began her second year of high school, Live-In #2 began his first year of middle school and Live-In #3 began his last year in elementary school. I love watching my kids experience new things and to hear their perspective on the experience...most of the time I love it - sometimes I get frustrated with the views the schools take and then teach my kids, but these things are usually minor.
Life became very scary and uncertain in December when the love of my life became ill. The next few months were filled with many tears, fear what the future would hold and trying not to imagine the worst. During this time, however, something very beautiful happened, the love that my husband has for me became much more apparent. I got to see inside of this man who has a hard time opening up. His heart is far more beautiful than I had ever imagined. I got to feel so deeply of my own love for him. He is mine and I am his, I always knew this but the reality of it was felt to my core. Whatever life brings us to we have each other and that is what is most important.
Being a parent of a teenager has new meaning this year. I have struggled with decisions that need to be made, worried if I'm making the right or wrong decisions. I want so badly to be a good mother to all my kids. I am working hard to come to terms with the fact that I don't have all the answers...sometimes I will make mistakes and sometimes I will get it right, but whatever I do I am trying to be confident in knowing that I love my kids so very much and I am doing my best. Which brings me around to thoughts of my own teenage years. While raising my teenager I have come to the realization that my perception of my own teenage years has remained in the eyes of my teenage self. Now being the parent of a teenager I see everything very different. While my parents were not perfect, neither was I and I needed to forgive both myself and them for what happened so long ago. They too were trying to do their best by me. I called my mom and apologized for the heartache I had put them through. And I finally forgave them for what I felt they had done wrong. I wish it didn't take me that long to come to this realization.
Looking ahead, I fear the next year will continue to be a year of growing pains. I hope I can be patient with myself. As a mother, I hope I will have wisdom when making decisions. I hope my children will know I love them with every fiber of my being. I will hold tight to Lovers hand and hope the storms that life give us will begin to calm.
So 40, here you are, I'm not afraid of you. You just are. I am still me and I like me.
Love,
Me
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label birthday. Show all posts
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Friday, June 28, 2013
Dear 38...
Dear 38 year old self,
Wow...what a busy year! Probably your biggest challenge this year was worrying about how you were going to be in two and sometimes three places at once! Worried your children will remember the times you weren't at their events rather than all the times you were. Worried one child would feel slighted over another if you couldn't make every event. My advice to you as I'm one day into 39...stop worrying. But I know you won't take my advice so at least try to keep it to a minimum. Good luck with that!
As I reflect on the past year I have a feeling of being very blessed. I have a family that I adore and friends in my life that are true to their core. For this I am truly thankful!
Your children turned 11, 10 and 15 this year. Live-in #1 finished her first year in high school. She introduced you to Water Polo. You're still figuring it out, but what you do know is the most exciting part of the game is when she is in that water playing! She also got her drivers permit! Congratulations on your first venture out with her driving. You were calm cool and collected...I didn't know you had it in you! Live-in #2 finished elementary school! Live-in #3 will now be the big man on campus as he just finished his 4th grade year. Both boys played tackle football (in different leagues!!!), basketball and started their first year in majors baseball. Right now you're going through All Stars, Live-in #2 is on the 10/11 All Star team and Live-in #3 is an All Star for the first time on the 9/10 All Star team! A very exciting season for them!
Another very important part of your year is your relationship with your brother Tim. You have always considered yourself close to Tim, but this year you have grown even closer. This relationship is very special to you. I thank God for him in my life, I thank God my family loves him as much as I do and I pray his life is blessed beyond his dreams.
You celebrated your 17th wedding anniversary with a very handsome man! Still in love, yes! I'll love him til the day I die.
I look forward to what this next year will bring. I look forward to building my story and my family's story. I look forward to watching the people I love build their stories.
Goodbye 38, hello 39 and watch out 40 I'm coming to get you and I'm not afraid!
Love,
Me
Wow...what a busy year! Probably your biggest challenge this year was worrying about how you were going to be in two and sometimes three places at once! Worried your children will remember the times you weren't at their events rather than all the times you were. Worried one child would feel slighted over another if you couldn't make every event. My advice to you as I'm one day into 39...stop worrying. But I know you won't take my advice so at least try to keep it to a minimum. Good luck with that!
As I reflect on the past year I have a feeling of being very blessed. I have a family that I adore and friends in my life that are true to their core. For this I am truly thankful!
Your children turned 11, 10 and 15 this year. Live-in #1 finished her first year in high school. She introduced you to Water Polo. You're still figuring it out, but what you do know is the most exciting part of the game is when she is in that water playing! She also got her drivers permit! Congratulations on your first venture out with her driving. You were calm cool and collected...I didn't know you had it in you! Live-in #2 finished elementary school! Live-in #3 will now be the big man on campus as he just finished his 4th grade year. Both boys played tackle football (in different leagues!!!), basketball and started their first year in majors baseball. Right now you're going through All Stars, Live-in #2 is on the 10/11 All Star team and Live-in #3 is an All Star for the first time on the 9/10 All Star team! A very exciting season for them!
Another very important part of your year is your relationship with your brother Tim. You have always considered yourself close to Tim, but this year you have grown even closer. This relationship is very special to you. I thank God for him in my life, I thank God my family loves him as much as I do and I pray his life is blessed beyond his dreams.
You celebrated your 17th wedding anniversary with a very handsome man! Still in love, yes! I'll love him til the day I die.
I look forward to what this next year will bring. I look forward to building my story and my family's story. I look forward to watching the people I love build their stories.
Goodbye 38, hello 39 and watch out 40 I'm coming to get you and I'm not afraid!
Love,
Me
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Dear 37...
Dear 37 Year Old Self,
This is not a year of my life I would like to relive, however I am sure one day when I look back I will think I probably grew more this year than in others. One day...
This year is most marked by loss. I learned way more than I ever wished to learn about loss. My kind & loving sister-in-law Stephanie, my loyal dog Doc and my sweet mother-in-law Pat. All gone. Forever. It sucks, it's incredibly painful, it's not fair, but still...it is.
Life goes on...
My children turned 10, 9 and 14. Um, hello? How is this possible? They are not perfect, but they are perfect for me. I adore them.
Lover & I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary! I love him even more than the day I married him. When I count my blessings, he is at the top of the list.
I had my own health scares. More than once. I was so scared. I am hopeful and thankful my fears were put to rest. I want to live to see my children grow up, get married, have lives, have babies. I want to be an old wrinkly lady with my old wrinkly husband...one day, not too soon, but one day.
Advice? Not really, I think you're doing a pretty good job. You are going to make mistakes, you are going to get some things right. Embrace it.
Love,
Me
This is not a year of my life I would like to relive, however I am sure one day when I look back I will think I probably grew more this year than in others. One day...
This year is most marked by loss. I learned way more than I ever wished to learn about loss. My kind & loving sister-in-law Stephanie, my loyal dog Doc and my sweet mother-in-law Pat. All gone. Forever. It sucks, it's incredibly painful, it's not fair, but still...it is.
Life goes on...
My children turned 10, 9 and 14. Um, hello? How is this possible? They are not perfect, but they are perfect for me. I adore them.
Lover & I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary! I love him even more than the day I married him. When I count my blessings, he is at the top of the list.
I had my own health scares. More than once. I was so scared. I am hopeful and thankful my fears were put to rest. I want to live to see my children grow up, get married, have lives, have babies. I want to be an old wrinkly lady with my old wrinkly husband...one day, not too soon, but one day.
Advice? Not really, I think you're doing a pretty good job. You are going to make mistakes, you are going to get some things right. Embrace it.
Love,
Me
Monday, January 9, 2012
Happy 10th Birthday to My Boy
He is a fan of the Oregon Ducks
He played tackle football for the first time and loved it!
Well hello Handsome...uh, hold on a minute...you are supposed to be my baby!
He made a touchdown at Reesers Stadium - Home of the OSU Beavers
Even though he is a Oregon Ducks Fan.
He showed us his wild side!
Ozzy Osborne Crazy Train
He continued in his quest to Wake Surf
And Succeeded!!!
He was a West Salem Little League 9/10 All Star
And MY ALL STAR!
1st day of 4th Grade
Hunting Mice with his brother
Telling stories around the campfire
Playing on the Beach
Showing off his new Oceanic White Tip Shark Tooth Necklace
Goofing around at the Christmas Tree Farm
Light Sabor fun in the garage with his cousin on Thanksgiving
My little Falcons Fan!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MY 10 YEAR OLD BOY!!!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Anatomy of a 13th Birthday Party
Live-In #1 turned 13 this week. For her 13th birthday she wanted to have a big birthday party with friends from different areas of her life in attendance. She invited 24 girls and 18 came - for a total of 19 girls, two brothers and a toddling niece!!
I had been planning this party in the back of my head for months. I wanted to have games to keep the girls busy, but they couldn't be the games we played when she was younger. I needed to up the ante...so here's what I did...
VENUE
Since her invite list was large and some of my game ideas were messy, I decided to have her party at a local school gym with a nearby outdoor covered area. - Check!
CAKE
I usually make and decorate a cake for my live-ins birthdays, however when I suggested a chocolate fountain to Live-In #1 she became hysterical... Chocolate Fountain it is! - Check!!
Goodies for the chocolate fountain included: pretzels, strawberries, potato chips, large marshmallows, chocolate chips cookies and rice krispy treats. Let me tell you, this was a HIT!
FOOD
I went back and forth on whether or not to have food. Finally I decided to have pizzas delivered during the party. Pizza Hut has $5 mediums - not bad. Live-In #1 wanted sodas so we had Orange, Dr Pepper & Root Beer. - Check!
GAMES
This is where I had a lot of fun in the planning. We played six games, but I had seven ready to go - we just ran out of time.
Balloon Popping - the first game I used as kind of an ice breaker. When each girl arrived I gave them two balloons. I instructed them to blow up the balloons and tie them around each ankle. The object of the game is to try to step on other peoples balloons to pop them...the last girl with at least one inflated balloon wins. We did this to music...Ozzy Osbourn (Lovers choice) and Nickelback!
Shower Cap, Shaving Cream & Cheese Puffs - yes you read that correctly. I purchased cheap shower caps, shaving cream and cheese puffs at the $ store. I had each girl put on a shower cap, then each girl got a liberal dose of shaving cream added to their shower cap. Finally they were paired up in groups of two with a bowl of cheese puffs. They stood about six feet apart and threw cheese puffs at each other, trying to catch the cheese puff in the shaving cream. There was a lot of laughter and silliness with this game.
Frozen T-Shirts - The night before the party I washed several t-shirts, folded them up while they were wet and put them in my freezer to freeze. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the circumstances) my washer spins so fast it gets most of the water out of the t-shirts so they did not freeze as well as I would have liked. BUT I did not let this stop me from enjoying the 'oh it's so cold' comments I got from many of the girls. The object of this game is to see who can get the t-shirt to thaw out enough to get it on... (no pictures...Lover was cleaning up the cheese puffs!)
Water Balloon Toss - straight up classic game...lots of laughter and fun here too
Prop/Skit - I split the girls into three groups and gave them a prop (mop, hair spray & joint pill bottle). I gave them five minutes to come up with a skit they would preform using the prop, then gave each group 2 minutes to perform their skit. At the end everyone voted on which group was best...and everyone got a prize.
Auction - I had purchased several items for an auction. Most items were from the $ store so most everything was $1, however I had a few $2-$4 items. Each girl was given $20 in play money and we started the auction. I think just about everyone walked away with a prize or two. We had some items that were 'gags' and we had some 'mystery' items. The girls seemed to have a lot of fun with this.
I normally plan 1 1/2 hours for a party, however for this party I planned 2 hours and ended up needing 2 1/2 hours. The girls were kept busy and seemed to have a great time. Live-In #1 could not pick a favorite game, she said she loved them all. The Chocolate Fountain was a HUGE hit and I SURVIVED to tell the story. So all in all, it would rate it a success!
I had been planning this party in the back of my head for months. I wanted to have games to keep the girls busy, but they couldn't be the games we played when she was younger. I needed to up the ante...so here's what I did...
VENUE
Since her invite list was large and some of my game ideas were messy, I decided to have her party at a local school gym with a nearby outdoor covered area. - Check!
CAKE
I usually make and decorate a cake for my live-ins birthdays, however when I suggested a chocolate fountain to Live-In #1 she became hysterical... Chocolate Fountain it is! - Check!!
Goodies for the chocolate fountain included: pretzels, strawberries, potato chips, large marshmallows, chocolate chips cookies and rice krispy treats. Let me tell you, this was a HIT!
FOOD
I went back and forth on whether or not to have food. Finally I decided to have pizzas delivered during the party. Pizza Hut has $5 mediums - not bad. Live-In #1 wanted sodas so we had Orange, Dr Pepper & Root Beer. - Check!
GAMES
This is where I had a lot of fun in the planning. We played six games, but I had seven ready to go - we just ran out of time.
Balloon Popping - the first game I used as kind of an ice breaker. When each girl arrived I gave them two balloons. I instructed them to blow up the balloons and tie them around each ankle. The object of the game is to try to step on other peoples balloons to pop them...the last girl with at least one inflated balloon wins. We did this to music...Ozzy Osbourn (Lovers choice) and Nickelback!
Shower Cap, Shaving Cream & Cheese Puffs - yes you read that correctly. I purchased cheap shower caps, shaving cream and cheese puffs at the $ store. I had each girl put on a shower cap, then each girl got a liberal dose of shaving cream added to their shower cap. Finally they were paired up in groups of two with a bowl of cheese puffs. They stood about six feet apart and threw cheese puffs at each other, trying to catch the cheese puff in the shaving cream. There was a lot of laughter and silliness with this game.
Shower Caps Ready
Shaving Cream Ready
Cheese Puffs Flying!
Frozen T-Shirts - The night before the party I washed several t-shirts, folded them up while they were wet and put them in my freezer to freeze. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the circumstances) my washer spins so fast it gets most of the water out of the t-shirts so they did not freeze as well as I would have liked. BUT I did not let this stop me from enjoying the 'oh it's so cold' comments I got from many of the girls. The object of this game is to see who can get the t-shirt to thaw out enough to get it on... (no pictures...Lover was cleaning up the cheese puffs!)
Water Balloon Toss - straight up classic game...lots of laughter and fun here too
Ready....Set....
Get Wet!
Prop/Skit - I split the girls into three groups and gave them a prop (mop, hair spray & joint pill bottle). I gave them five minutes to come up with a skit they would preform using the prop, then gave each group 2 minutes to perform their skit. At the end everyone voted on which group was best...and everyone got a prize.
These girls were fierce auctioneers!
I normally plan 1 1/2 hours for a party, however for this party I planned 2 hours and ended up needing 2 1/2 hours. The girls were kept busy and seemed to have a great time. Live-In #1 could not pick a favorite game, she said she loved them all. The Chocolate Fountain was a HUGE hit and I SURVIVED to tell the story. So all in all, it would rate it a success!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Happy Birthday to My Girl
Yesterday I got to share Mother's Day with my Daughter, it was her 13th birthday. A big one to be sure. Today, I wanted to take a look back at the year in the life of this wonderful girl.
She was in her first play - Miss Nelson Is Missing
She grew her hair out so she could cut it off and donate to Locks of Love. She is an inspiration!
She learned how to Wake Surf
And how to fall!
She tried her hand at fishing...but she was 'biteless'
I LOVE YOU!
Silver Creek Falls Adventure!
Off to 7th Grade she goes...
Hannah's 2nd Play - she is The Raven in Edgar Allen Poe poem
Carving Pumpkins!
Thanksgiving is her favorite holiday.
Decorating Christmas Cookies
Having fun with her cousin on Christmas Eve
Wipeout on Mt Hood!
Another Play - this time she was Bagheera in The Jungle Book
I Love You My Sweet Girl!
I am so blessed to be your mother!
Happy 13th Birthday!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Don't Forget the Birthday Cake
Several years ago I got tired of buying expensive specialty birthday cakes and decided I would try my hand at making my live-ins special day cakes...now that I think of it...this was around the time that instead of buying one specialty cake a year I was going to have to buy three!! Economics, that's what it was, economincs...
I took a cake decorating class when Live-In #1 was a baby, not because I wanted to make birthday cakes, but because I thought maybe this could be a business for me...I quickly found out - Cakes Were No Business For This Girl...
But because of this whim I had a few supplies in my cabinets and was able to begin with cupcakes for Live-In #2's 1st Birthday...Mickey Mouse: cupcakes frosted red with store bought Mickey decorations and 2nd Birthday...Basketballs and Baseballs (don't remember if there were footballs and I don't want to go grab the scrapbook right now) of course the baseballs were my favorite - I actually had to use a little of what I learned in my cake decorating class for these.
Then Live-In #1 decided she wanted a Strawberry Shortcake birthday with a Strawberry Shortcake Hat shaped cake...Oh Boy...Thankfully my sister (who could probably have a cake decorating business) came to my rescue and came over to help me make this masterpiece. Since then, every year I make my kids birthday cake. They are so excited to see what I come up and are easily pleased.
Over the years we have had Princess Castles, Trains, Treasure Chest, Baseball Field, Transformers, Star Wars, Beaches, Light Sabors, Football Helmets and just plain Whimsical. They have been fun, but either they are getting harder or my creative mind is mush...But my Live-In's think I can and should be able to do it all!
So this year Live-In #3 chose to go to a place called Sky High for his birthday. This place is a big warehouse type building with HUGE trampolines. Yes, that was plural. They have a big trampoline area where the walls are also a trampoline, they have a trampoline that you can jump off of and into a pit of foam and they have a dodge ball trampoline area. So to go with this theme Live-In #3 wanted a trampoline cake! I had no idea what I was going to do and all the ideas on the internet included fondant...I don't do fondant...but I finally found a cake I thought I might be able to tackle with regular frosting...
If you are a professional cake decorator or even a semi-pro or kind of pro I know you are cringing right now...but Live-In #3 and his friends liked it...and my mama was proud...and that is all that matters.
P.S. It tasted better than it looks...
I took a cake decorating class when Live-In #1 was a baby, not because I wanted to make birthday cakes, but because I thought maybe this could be a business for me...I quickly found out - Cakes Were No Business For This Girl...
But because of this whim I had a few supplies in my cabinets and was able to begin with cupcakes for Live-In #2's 1st Birthday...Mickey Mouse: cupcakes frosted red with store bought Mickey decorations and 2nd Birthday...Basketballs and Baseballs (don't remember if there were footballs and I don't want to go grab the scrapbook right now) of course the baseballs were my favorite - I actually had to use a little of what I learned in my cake decorating class for these.
Then Live-In #1 decided she wanted a Strawberry Shortcake birthday with a Strawberry Shortcake Hat shaped cake...Oh Boy...Thankfully my sister (who could probably have a cake decorating business) came to my rescue and came over to help me make this masterpiece. Since then, every year I make my kids birthday cake. They are so excited to see what I come up and are easily pleased.
Over the years we have had Princess Castles, Trains, Treasure Chest, Baseball Field, Transformers, Star Wars, Beaches, Light Sabors, Football Helmets and just plain Whimsical. They have been fun, but either they are getting harder or my creative mind is mush...But my Live-In's think I can and should be able to do it all!
So this year Live-In #3 chose to go to a place called Sky High for his birthday. This place is a big warehouse type building with HUGE trampolines. Yes, that was plural. They have a big trampoline area where the walls are also a trampoline, they have a trampoline that you can jump off of and into a pit of foam and they have a dodge ball trampoline area. So to go with this theme Live-In #3 wanted a trampoline cake! I had no idea what I was going to do and all the ideas on the internet included fondant...I don't do fondant...but I finally found a cake I thought I might be able to tackle with regular frosting...
If you are a professional cake decorator or even a semi-pro or kind of pro I know you are cringing right now...but Live-In #3 and his friends liked it...and my mama was proud...and that is all that matters.
P.S. It tasted better than it looks...
Monday, April 18, 2011
Happy Birthday to My Boy
Most...if not all...of my posts this week will be a tribute to this wonderful boy of mine. So strap on your seatbelts and enjoy the ride...
A look back at a year in the life of my boy!
Catching for his Sister
Lemonade Stand
Easter
Boating
Tubing at Shasta
Taking a Stroll on the Water with Daddy
Our Family - Midnight Run on Shasta
Lizard Hunting
Sleeping on a Midnight Cruise at Lake Billy
Mouse Trapping at Lake Billy
Taking off into the Water
I'm the King of the World!
Hi Mom!
Mowing the Lawn for the 1st Time
1st day of 2nd Grade
Tubing at Mt Hood
Brothers
Making Gingerbread Houses
Happy Birthday beautiful boy. I love you so very much!!
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